The Fellowship on roller skates!
by Darkangel-mysticat
Summary: CHAP 6 UP!!!! The last chapter. Aragorn is drunk and Boromir gets his revenge! =^_^=
1. Cranky wizards and hyperactive hobbits

The Fellowship on roller skates!  
  
A/N: Yes, I know the whole 'Middle Earth on our Earth' idea has been done before, but eh, sue me! Spot the quotes! =^_^= Ps- Boromir is alive in this fic, so he doesn't miss out on the fun. ^_~ Pps- many, many thanks to Cuwen Eledhdil, with whom I discussed the fic with and who gave me loads of ideas for quotes, and suggested putting our beloved Gollum in!  
  
DISCLAIMER: The LotRings plus characters belong to Tolkien, not me! I claim no ownership over them, so don't sue me over that!  
  
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"Gandalf, what are you doing in there???" Frodo was becoming a little concerned for his friend, quite rightly so, as the wizard had locked himself up in a room Frodo had lent him to stay in for four days, without a noise, except random crashes followed by un-hobbitish cussing. Unable to mind his own business any longer, Frodo confronted Gandalf. " I want you to summon the Fellowship here....I think I have found a way of travelling back in time to prevent elves being turned into orcs, and the mortal kings being enslaved by the nine rings. And be quick about it- I dropped my hat in the formula and I want it back NOW!" Frodo did as he was told, feeling puzzled but happy. 'That means no Nazgul..and no more hospital bills for chronic maladies!' The hobbit winced- he remembered pain in his shoulder all too well.  
  
Soon the rest of the Fellowship were gathered around a large hole in the ground, filled with some sort of bubbling green goo. Only Legolas seemed keen on the idea of jumping into the hole.  
  
"Great! That means all elves will remain fair and beautiful. Like me!" Legolas smiled smugly.  
  
"You wish, yer great nancing-" Gimli was cut short by Boromir, to prevent any arguments between the elf and dwarf.  
  
"So who goes first?" He asked, nervously.  
  
"Ooh! Ooh! I will! The goo looks fun!" Pippin bounced up and down, grinning from ear to ear. Sam looked at the hyperactive hobbit suspiciously.  
  
"Has he had any pixie sticks, recently?" he asked Merry.  
  
"I couldn't stop him. Even when I tied him up with rope he still managed to worm his way to the sugar storage box...darn it, I really should remember to throw that thing away."  
  
Whilst the rest of the fellowship bickered about pixie sticks, Pippin tiptoed to the goo-filled hole, and pulled a spare pixie stick form his pocket. He looked from the goo to the sugar, and back again. He grinned and emptied the sugar into the goo, which fizzed and promptly turned pink. Gandalf turned around, to find Pippin grinning and leaning over the now pink goo.  
  
"Fool of a Took, what have you done now?!?!?!?" Everyone except for Gimli and Legolas stopped arguing to see what was going on.  
  
"I don't believe this. First you frighten the wits out of people at Bilbo's party with your accomplice (he glowered at Merry, who shrank back), then you nearly get us all killed in the mines of Moria, and now you totally ruin my plans! You absolute foooooooooooool!!!!!!!!" The rest of the fellowship watched in dismay as Gandalf was sucked into the pink goo: Gimli had pushed Legolas furiously after some insult about his hight, and in turn, Legolas had collided with Gandalf, sending him into the pink abyss. There was an uncomfortable pause.  
  
"...Well, now we have to follow him, right?" Aragorn said after an uncomfortable silence. "Since you pushed him in, Legolas, you go first."  
  
"But I didn't.." Legolas stopped, not wanting to give the snickering Gimli the satisfaction. He stepped towards the edge of the hole. A sudden thought struck him. "But what if the goo dyes my hair????" There was a loud squelch as Gimli pushed the elf into the hole, and Legolas ungracefully toppled in. Next followed the four hobbits, then Boromir, and then Gimli, who got stuck in the hole.  
  
"Aragorn! Help me!" Aragorn sighed. 'Stars, have mercy on us all,' He thought.  
  
"Suck it in!" he advised. The dwarf did as he was told. Just before he was completely engulfed in goo, he called to Aragorn:  
  
"Don't tell the elf about this!" And he was gone. Aragorn slapped his forehead.  
  
"We're doomed...." Then he himself jumped in.  
  
Meanwhile, Gollum slunk into the empty room, and up to the hole. "Those fffilthy hobbitses stole our pixie sticks from us, and we wants it back, preciousssss!" And with that he, too, joined the group.  
  
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A/N: Sorry about it being so short, I hope the next one will be longer. It certainly will be funnier! Please R&R! ~mysticat~ =^_^= 


	2. A neon pinkhaired elf and 'Boogie World'

A/N: Hiya, people! I'll pair two characters up. Slash OR non-slash. Only I don't know what the best pairing is. You guys vote for pairings, but don't expect me to go into a whole romance- I'm concentrating on humour, here (Note: I will NOT go over PG for this, either!) =^_^= (Ps- I may put Eowyn, Galadriel or Arwen in. It all depends on how you guys vote.)  
  
DISCLAIMER: LotRings = not mine. Don't sue.  
  
On with the insanity!  
  
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It was a reasonably quiet around the city, save a couple of late-night discos and clubs. Adults and young children had already gone to bed, and the dogs had already stopped barking. Bugs began to explore the city pavements for scraps. Until-  
  
"YaaAAAAAA!!!- *oomph!*" Let's just say some bugs were thoroughly flattened that night.  
  
"Ouch...the ground in Mirkwood was much softer if an elf ever fell..which is very rare, I'll have you know..where are we supposed to be, again?" No- one replied. They just stared at Legolas. Gimli began to splutter. "What is it this time, Fatso?" Legolas spat, becoming annoyed at the way everyone was looking at him.  
  
"Y-y-your hair! It's p-p-p-"  
  
"Great goblins of Isengard, what did you do to your hair?" Sam piped up. Legolas frowned, and peered into a nearby puddle.  
  
"My hair? You jest, Samwise, elven hair is always perfe-" After this bizarre event was over and the hobbits were safetly back in the Shire, Pippin swore to his friends that he reckoned the poor elf had screamed so loudly that every cave troll in Moria back on the Middle Earth could hear.  
  
"Pink!" Was all the stricken elf could sob. "My hair's pink! Can't you change it back, Mithrandir???? Please say you can!" Legolas begged the wizard, who was having a hard time trying to conceal his mirth.  
  
"No, I'm *snicker*, I'm afraid not. You'll just have to *choke*, you'll just have to put up with it, my dear elf." (In all truth, Gandalf could have cured Legolas of his problem, but decided that he needed taking down a few pegs.)  
  
A sudden silence took the Fellowship. No-one had the faintest idea of where they were. Pippin was quite happy to let the atmosphere stay silent, though; that would mean no furious punishments from the temperamental wizard and the neon- haired elf for having gotten them into this situation in the first place. Aragorn sighed: they were getting no-where. "I suggest we find someone and ask them where our exact whereabouts is."  
  
"Who made you leader, all of the sudden?" Gandalf shot back, rendering the Ranger silent. "I say we ask someone where we are." Aragorn opened his mouth to retaliate, but Boromir put a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head vigorously. Just then, Gandalf spotted someone walking their way.  
  
"Young master! Yes, you with the..nose ring? Would you be so good as to tell us where we are? I'm afraid we're rather lost." The youth stared at them.  
  
"Bond Street...er, London. Saturday night at 11:35, if ya want to know." Merry nudged Pippin.  
  
"That doesn't sound like any country on Middle Earth I've ever heard of, unless Bilbo left something out on his map. You know how old he's getting..." The youth continued to stare at them, but at last seemed to come to a conclusion, and grinned.  
  
"Ya know, the costume party ain't 'till the day after tomorrow, mates. But all the same, like the get-up!" With that, the youth sauntered away.  
  
Sam felt annoyed. He was tired, and hated the unknown. Then something on a building caught his eye. A poster. He ran to it. Naturally the rest of the Fellowship followed him. When they had caught up with Sam, they heard him spewing a stream of indignant protest.  
  
"..absolute abomination! Roses are supposed to be cut at an angle, not straight like the ones in the picture. And the way they have butchered that strawberry patch! This isn't a flower show, this is carnage!" Frodo snorted, then absently read a nearby poster. He read it in puzzlement.  
  
"Boogie World?" The rest of the Fellowship turned to read the poster. "That must be the name of this planet! How odd. I've never come across a word like that, before."  
  
"Sounds like orcish, if you ask me," growled Legolas.  
  
"If it is, then at least we may have a clue to getting back! At last, maybe we can find something familiar. It's a risky task, but it's the best chance we have. Look, it has a map!" Aragorn said eagerly. After he received a very dominating glare from Gandalf, the group set off.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"You'd find more cheer in a graveyard."  
  
"Gimli, we are in a graveyard."  
  
"Oh, right." The group were sullenly walking along to the 'heart of Boogie World', as Aragorn had put it, with only the constant bickering of Legolas and Gimli for entertainment. Sam was still in mourning for his flowers, when he jumped back in surprise.  
  
"Sam, what's the matter?" Frodo whispered, looking alarmed.  
  
"I thought I saw a pair of eyes on that gravestone!" Sam pointed to one right next to Boromir, who yelped and jumped on top of Aragorn, who promptly dropped him.  
  
"Boromir! Get a hold of yourself, man!" he hissed.  
  
"I tell you, it's a bad omen! I see no hope for us!" Boromir quivered, tears coming to his eyes. The others chose to ignore him.  
  
"I feel so useless, Mr Frodo. I have no means of helping to defend ourselves save my knowledge of gardening.and what good would that do in battle? I just feel as if I were luggage, as it were."  
  
"Maybe. Or maybe I'll just say 'luggage with eyes'! You have your worth, Sam- just remember to give a holler if you see anything else," Frodo laughed nervously. As the Fellowship walked on, they drew close to a large building covered in strange colourful lighting, and they could hear booming music. Walking towards the building, one by one they all began to feel anxious: would they receive help, or would they encounter a great dilemma?.  
  
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A/N: So how was that? Spot the quotes? There are some from the book, too! Those who have read the FotR will know whom the pair of eyes belong to. Those who haven't can probably guess! ; ) I don't reckon it was any funnier..oh, well; next chapter you'll get to see why I named the story 'The Fellowship on skates!', but I need feedback before I can continue, so please leave a review, and don't forget to vote! =^_^= 


	3. Cranky dwarves and proud elves

A/N: Poll is closed! ^_^ Most wanted traditional or/and obvious pairings. Mwee hee hee.I'm going to have fun in the next few chapters! : ) Since few voted, I can include most requests. A bit of fluff, but no major mushiness! Thanks people for giving me ideas and voting, by the way!  
  
DISCLAIMER: You know the drill: I do not own LotR, don't sue.  
  
*Drumroll* I give you: THE FELLOWSHIP ON ROLLER SKATES!!!!  
  
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Loud, booming music sounded and bright, coloured lights flashed as our favourite misplaced heroes stepped into 'the heart of Boogie World'. The group looked around in awe, not noticing the stares everyone was giving them. Gimli stepped in front of a large, blue flashing light and started poking it in curiosity.  
  
"By Durin's beard, what kind of devilry is this?" He exclaimed. He wasn't answered, though, as a strange-looking young woman ushered him and the Fellowship into a small room filled with..  
  
"Boots on wheels? What lunacy. How would you be able to stop yourself rolling down a hill? It's utterly useless for battle: no control!" Legolas mused. The odd woman swept over to them: odd to them because she was covered in earrings, eyebrow rings and seemed to be skewered in round sparkling needles. Nobody dared say anything: she looked so frightening. 'This woman makes even the fiercest Uruk warrior look cute', shivered the elf.  
  
"Alright, boys, what size are you?" No answer. She sighed. "Fine, I'll take a guess." She walked away, and came back with nine wheeled boots, and gave the out. "Just put on the boots and go right through there", she indicated to a door to their left. "Please do not leave this building with your skates on. There is a refreshment bar at one end of the hall. Enjoy yourselves." She said all of this monotonously, as though she had recited it a thousand times. The woman turned to Legolas. "By the way," she said, "like the hair." Legolas went pink to match his hair, but dared not say anything. The frightening female left the confused group to their own devices. They all stared down at their boots, then at Gandalf.  
  
"Well, hurry up and put them on! Perhaps this is a ritual to complete before we are sent back." The Fellowship did as they we told. Gimli was the first to attempt standing up. He failed, falling on his backside with a heavy 'thud'. The rest of the Fellowship sniggered.  
  
"Gah! How on Middle Earth are you supposed to walk in these?!?" He grumbled indignantly. Legolas smirked, and stood up, posture perfect and unwavering with an air of superiority only an elf can bear. The Fellowship laughed at Gimli some more, but that just made him more indignant.  
  
"Pah! I'd like to see you fellow mortals try!" So they did. None quite as successful as Legolas, though. At least Gandalf, Aragorn and Boromir managed to stand up on their first go, not without wobbling a little, though..'a little' being an understatement for Boromir, who had still not gotten over the graveyard incident, and who wobbled all over the place, not quite falling down, but not quite standing, either. At last the hobbits managed to get up, only by forming a chain of four, though. It would have been more successful if Frodo hadn't lost his balance..the hobbits went down like a row of dominoes. Pippin, who was on the end of the line, desperately grabbed onto the nearest object, which happened to be Boromir's trouser leg. Thus the hobbits went down, along with Boromir and his trousers. The rest of the Fellowship were killing themselves laughing. Even Legolas was having a hard time keeping himself upright and on his feet!  
  
"Pink hearts and fairies??? You wear boxer shorts with p-p-pink hearts and f-f." choked Aragorn. Boromir quickly righted himself and tidied himself up, face scarlet. Now the hobbits joined in with the laughter.  
  
"Enough of this foolishness", said Gandalf between snorts. We don't have all the time in the world, you know." The hobbits scrambled to their feet as fast as they could. Gimli kept trying to get up, but couldn't, so he had to be half carried, half dragged into the hall by Aragorn and a disgruntled Legolas.  
  
"I don't see why I have to support this great lump- he has done nothing but antagonise me all evening!"  
  
"You think I like the situation any better than you do, elf?" the dwarf snarled.  
  
"Actually I quite like being on wheels. It's kind of fun when you're light and skilled enough to get the balance right.unlike some-"  
  
"Shut it!"  
  
So the fellowship entered the hall, none of them considering that they might have to pay...  
  
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A/N: Aren't I cruel? ^_^ Please leave a review, people! Next time: the Fellowship have some fun, and familiar faces turn up at the skating hall.. and Legolas finds himself the centre of attention! =^_^= 


	4. An intellegent Pippin and outraged hobbi...

A/N: Hiya everybody! (Hi, Dr, Nick! Just kidding! ( ) Sorry it took so long...here's chapter 4!  
  
DISCLAIMER: As before, only an extra: the idea of 'lawn ornament' belongs to Terry Pratchet, not me, I think from a book called 'The Wyrd Sisters'. Don't sue! (Plus the little Simpsons joke isn't mine, either!) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"YAAAAH! Make it stop, make it stop!..Aw, no, don't make it stop, don't make it stop!!!!" *BAM!*  
  
"Pippin! Next time follow the traffic instead of going against it!"  
  
"Oh, yes, it was my every intention to lose control of these boots-on- wheels and flatten myself against a very hard, very solid wall. WHAT DID YOU THINK I WAS TRYING TO DO???? You can be a right cretin sometimes, Merry."  
  
".."  
  
The Fellowship were beginning to discover how the inhabitants of 'Boogie World' had fun. Most of them had at least managed to learn how to skate for about ten paces without falling. The minority being Gimli, of course.  
  
"Aragorn! This friend won't be with you for long! I don't thing my back can last the night..*Ooof!*"  
  
Meanwhile, Legolas found himself as the life of the party.  
  
"Duuuude, what did you do to your hair?"  
  
"WOULD PEOPLE LAY OFF THE HAIR!"  
  
"Man, I love it!"  
  
"I..you do?!?!"  
  
"Pft, like, ya! I think it looks totally cute! Where'd you get the idea?"  
  
"You could say it was an accident."  
  
"Word...so have ya been skating for long?"  
  
"Skating? Oh! You mean rolling on boots! No, this is my first time."  
  
"Whoa, that, like, totally makes ya a natural!"  
  
"Dude, that is awesome!"  
  
"Yeah! Hey man, want a raspberry pop? They turn your tongue blue, isn't that just hilarious?" Legolas was now very confused: these strange young people could have been talking in another language for all he knew. But they seemed good-natured enough, so Legolas smiled.  
  
"Word!" He said cheerfully. The four youths stared at him.  
  
".Ya don't come from round here, do you?" Legolas blinked. "Hey, don't worry 'bout it. We'll take it as a 'yes', then!"  
  
Gandalf was having the time of his life.  
  
"I haven't had this much fun since the Balrog of Moriaaaaaa! Hey, speeding wizard, coming through!"  
  
Aragorn was still teasing poor Boromir. And as for the hobbits, well, they were mobbing a delinquent.  
  
"We are not children! We no longer need the protection of our mothers! We are not lawn ornaments! We are not cute cuddly plush toys! We are not curly-haired freaks! We are not fairies, or pixies, or bugs that you tread on! WE ARE HOBBITS!" Merry yelled.  
  
"For the Shire!" Frodo cried as he ferociously kicked the youth in the shin.  
  
"For the bugs!" Sam kicked him, too.  
  
"For the...vertically challenged of the world!" Pippin kicked.  
  
"Hey, Pip, that was pretty intelligent."  
  
"Thanks, Sam!"  
  
"Ouch! Ow ow ow! Okay, okay, I'm freakin' sorry! Geeze, where's your sense of humour? Too big for you shrimps?"  
  
Needless to say each of the halflings kicked him so hard in a strategic place that the delinquent wasn't able to walk properly for weeks.  
  
None of the Fellowship noticed a skinny grey-skinned creature enter the hall.  
  
"Yaaaargh! We cannot stop, precioussss!"  
  
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A/N: So how was it, people? R&R, please! Next time: more familiar faces! Aragorn has lady trouble....someone spikes the punch! 


	5. Spiked punch and a very annoyed Gollum

A/N: I am sooooo sorry I've taken so long to update! But, like everyone else I am not foreign to having to hard work. But rejoice, fellow randomness lovers! I have not given up just yet! Nope, this fic is still up and running (however slowly it may be.)  
  
DISCLAIMER: LotR is not mine. LotR is Tolkien's. There, I said it so don't sue me! : P  
  
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"Yaaaargh! We cannot stop, precioussss!" Sam turned around.  
  
"You're hopeless"  
  
"Gollum scowled as he finally managed to clumsily skitter to a halt. "You're the naassty little hobbit that took my pixie sticks!"  
  
"I ain't got no pixie sticks," Sam snapped curtly, "and I have more respect for myself then to go sneaking about trying to take anything off others," he added rather pointedly. He turned on his heel haughtily, but fell backwards as the skates went forward without him with a heavy *thud*. Gollum snickered.  
  
"Ssstupid fat hobbit!"  
  
Aragorn looked on, mildly amused. He had long gotten tired of tormenting Boromir (who was now giving him the cold shoulder, big time). Everything was going just fine for him, when all of the sudden:  
  
"Aragorn! Estel, darling, why did you run off like that? I've been worried sick for the past few hours!" Aragorn groaned. It was Arwen. And it looked as if she had brought Eowyn with her. The ranger looked up, and stared.  
  
"My lady, what have you done to your hair?" Arwen laughed. Her hair was a very dark shade of pink.  
  
"I think it looks rather fetching, don't you?"  
  
"It certainly is...unusual. But how come your hair turned pink and Eowyn's didn't, and your hair is darker?"  
  
Eowyn frowned, but caught a glimpse of Legolas and smiled.  
  
"I think that the solution Gandalf conjured up is reactant to elven hair, only."  
  
"Or rather, the solution Pippin 'helped' to conjure up," Aragorn muttered. "But Eowyn, shouldn't Faramir be with you, or vice versa?"  
  
"Yes, well men can be so irritating sometimes, that's all. No offence meant," Eowyn added quickly. Aragorn sighed mentally- all he wanted was a little peace. He headed towards the exit.  
  
"Excuse me, my ladies, but there is ...business I have to attend. Arwen, I shall be back soon." With that, he skated away.  
  
"Men," the two ladies sighed witheringly to each other. The two made their way over to Legolas, Arwen occasionally giggling at Eowyn, who at times looked similar to a broken windmill in gale force winds, trying to keep her balance. Arwen, of course, was having no trouble whatsoever in maintaining her elven grace.  
  
Actually, it seemed as though the pinkness of Legolas' hair was beginning to fade: the colour wasn't so conspicuous as it was before. The elf couldn't help feeling as if he would miss the different hair colour: he had met some interesting people because of it, and in truth was starting to grow fond of it. He turned to meet the two, somehow managing to restrain his a smirk at Eowyn's half-hearted balance.  
  
"Mae govannen, Undomiel! Eowyn.*snicker* nae saian luume'," Smiled Legolas. [1]  
  
"Vedui', Legolas! You look well.." Eowyn replied, glancing at his hair. [2]  
  
"Care for some kick, my ladies?"  
  
"..Beg your pardon?" The two women looked shocked.  
  
"It's called 'punch', mate," whispered one of Legolas' new- found friends.  
  
So there the group were, holding cups of punch and talking about the day's strange events.  
  
"..And Gimli couldn't even stand up for half a second, the great lump!" They all chuckled.  
  
"I heard that, Elf!" the disgruntled dwarf yelled from across the hall. Legolas ignored him.  
  
"Ah, don't tease him like that, he doesn't deserve it, the poor dear. It isn't his fault he isn't an elf," scolded Eowyn, though she was still trying not to laugh. Gimli came over to join in the conversation, also armed with a cup of punch. He almost got started about the Boromir-fairy story, but Legolas nudged him.  
  
"You'd better not, Boromir's in ear-shot." Sure enough, Boromir looked as if he was about to cry; he'd had enough teasing and torment from Aragorn, already. (Actually, the incident wasn't entirely his fault: there were a gang of rowdy children living back in Gondor, and that day after taking a shower Boromir discovered that all his other underwear was missing, the whole drawer gone save the girly pair that the gang put in them, so he really had no option.) Gimli nodded, reluctantly.  
  
"Well, maybe some other time." Legolas sighed and took a sip of his punch. What happened after that was a bit of a blur. Legolas' face contorted suddenly and spat out the liquid, right into Gimli's face.  
  
"THAT DOES IT! NOW YOU'VE GOT ME ANG-"  
  
"There's.. something in the punch!" Legolas choked. Gimli paused and tried his. He frowned.  
  
"Some kind of strong spirit? This punch has been 'spiked', as these people say, and with a very alcoholic content, may I add. Someone could get very ill, drinking this stuff."  
  
"Alcohol? But that means...OH GREAT MORGOTH, NO, PIPPIN, FRODO, DON'T DRINK THAT!!!"  
  
Too late. Both hobbits had downed their drinks in a second. Frodo paused and frowned, looking a little disorientated. Pippin was already becoming ten times more of a danger hazard then he was on a sugar high. A devilish grin formed on his face, and he began whizzing about, round and round the skating hall like a deranged miniature tornado, laughing gleefully, manically. Frodo continued to frown.  
  
"Mr. Frodo? Are you feeling alright..?" Sam wavered, uncertainly. Suddenly Frodo turned round, beaming all over his face, eyes sparkling menacingly.  
  
"I've been learning some magic, Sam: I know how to cast about a frost. I think I'd quite like to try it out in the garden, Sam, I think the summer flowers would like that!" he smiled. Sam screamed. This bit of plant torture was all too much.  
  
"If my old gaffer was here right now he'd..uff!" Sam started furiously, but was cut short by Pippin ploughing right into him. The hyperactive hobbit shot right out of the room with a last 'hee hee!!!' Merry sighed.  
  
"I guess we'd better follow him," he said. Gandalf and Boromir joined them, having seen the whole thing. Gollum cautiously tagged along behind them. Sam sighed.  
  
"I guess we have more to worry about than you, Stinker. Alright, you can come with us."  
  
"The lighter haired drunken hobbit hasss my pixie sticksss?" Gollum asked, feeling alarmed that the sugary treat could fall into such dangerous hands.  
  
"I'm afraid so."  
  
The group were just about to leave the building when the same frightening young woman they had encountered earlier on confronted them.  
  
"Oi, wait up a sec! You haven't paid, yet!" The Fellowship minus Aragorn and Pippin plus Arwen and Eowyn stared at each other (Frodo just giggled, Sam keeping hold of him in the knowledge that there would be even more mayhem if he was set loose).  
  
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A/N: [1] Mae govannen is a greeting: it means 'well met'. Nae saian luume' means 'it has been too long'.  
  
[2] Vedui' means 'greetings'.  
  
Hope that wasn't too random for you, and I hope you liked it. Thank you Cuwen for the 'broken windmill' gag! Actually, I felt that this particular chapter was a little forced: I seem to be losing my humour..oh, well. I can just channel all my negative energy into writing more poems on fiction- press. Need to write more fics, too; this one looks a bit lonely on my account page, now that all my poems have been moved! Anyway, reviews appreciated, random rudeness is fed to my pet Balrog! Next time: Aragorn gets drunk (not another one!) Boromir gets his revenge!  
  
Until next time! =^_^= 


	6. Drunken Aragorn and back to Middle Earth

A/N: Once again, I've taken ages to update. 4 months, to be more accurate. o_O; I'm really sorry about that. I just keep procrastinating, especially with a new Matrix fic up and running. Oh, well; this is the last chapter! *Sobs* Perhaps I can do a sequel to 'Fun and Games'. Valinor help the elves. Especially Haldir and Celeborn. @_@   
  
DISCLAIMER: LotR and characters are not mine so don't sue.  
  
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Aragorn sat in the smoky bar, downing his third ale. Hiccupping he sighed.  
  
"Women".  
  
Suddenly Eowyn and Arwen burst in on him, the rest of the Fellowship following. (Actually, Pippin and Frodo weren't following; they were being carried like sacs underneath the arms of Legolas and Boromir. The punch seemed to have taken its toll on the hobbits.) Arwen looked furious.  
  
"Aragorn! What have I told you about drinking? We've been worried sick."  
  
"Aaah, shaddap ya nag..." and Aragorn promptly fell off the stool, unconscious. Arwen stared, and turned to Eowyn, who just shrugged.  
  
"...Dear me, not another," sighed Gandalf. "I wonder how he managed to sneak out of that skating place."  
  
"Anything would have been better than saying 'look over there!' and then running away... h-hey, what are you doing???" spluttered Legolas to Boromir (who was drawing squiggly lines and shapes on Aragorn's face with a permanent marker.)  
  
"Getting my revenge; what else would I do?" Boromir said in what would have been an innocent tone, if it weren't for the grin on his face.  
  
"Alright, that's enough. Do you want to get back or not?" said Gandalf. Everyone who could nod nodded. "Good. Gimli, take Pippin off of Boromir and Boromir you take charge of Aragorn." Boromir scowled, gave Pippin to Gimli and slung Aragorn carelessly over his shoulder.  
  
The odd group set off to wherever it was that they had landed in the beginning, everyone gathered around Gandalf, who produced a small phial of blue goo. He poured the contents onto the ground, and it spread out quickly into a goo-filled hole slightly wider than Gimli's width. Gandalf looked weary, and surveyed the group.  
  
"I think I'll go in last this time, so I can keep an eye on you all. Well, go on, before the hole closes!" He snapped. One by one the group jumped in, Arwen and Legolas being a little hesitant at first, considering what had happened to their hair the last time (it was all very well looking odd in an odd place, but they would never live it down back in Middle Earth if the same thing happened). But eventually everyone went in, until only Gandalf and Gollum were left. Just before Gollum jumped into the goo, Gollum turned to Gandalf:  
  
"I shhhould have locked the pixsssie stick cupboard," said Gollum thoughtfully, and jumped into the hole. Gandalf slapped his forehead, and was about to join the others when a something grey caught his eye.  
  
"My hat!" He rushed over to it, and jammed it on his head with a triumphant smile. With that he jumped into the goo, holding onto his hat.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
Now everyone is back on Middle Earth. I guess you're wondering what happened to everyone (well, probably not, but I'll tell you anyway):  
  
To the elves' relief, neither Arwen's nor Legolas' hair dyed blue, but returned to their original colour. Legolas and Gimli held a truce, and after he woke up screaming as he saw himself (Arwen held a mirror over him) Aragorn insisted that he'd be taken to Elrond to be cured. He was, eventually, 'cured' (after Arwen convinced her father and the other healers that he wasn't a demon sent by Morgoth). Eowyn went back to Faramir to tell her story.  
  
Meanwhile Gandalf swore he'd never try to change the past again, and Boromir found his underwear. Sam now warily guarded his garden from a bewildered Frodo, and Gollum finally locked his pixie stick cupboard.  
  
And Merry never let Pippin within an inch of anything sugary ever again.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
THE END.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~   
  
A/N: *Sniffles* I'll miss writing chappies to this fic. But I'm happy, coz I finishes it in the end! Please R&R! Thankies! =^_^= 


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